What Happened?
Recently, I've been reflecting on the personal baggage and losses that we all carry. For me, this includes the sudden passing of my birth father last year, which left me with unresolved emotions and anger. I hadn't seen him in eight years, and the lack of closure was overwhelming. I also struggled with feelings of betrayal and hurt from past experiences at my former job, which even led to a year of suicidal ideation. These experiences have been a heavy burden, affecting my ability to grow and heal.
So What?
As I reflect on these experiences, I realize that holding onto anger and resentment can be a form of "dead weight" that prevents personal growth. I've found that my instinct is often to cling to these feelings because I feel justified in my anger. However, I've come to understand that this doesn't lead to healing. Instead, I've learned to rely on my faith as a way to release this burden. It's not just about letting go; it's about actively choosing to forgive and trust that God can heal these wounds.
Now What?
Today, during morning prayer, I felt a strong urge to forgive those who wronged me at my former job. This was a challenging process, especially with one person whose name I couldn't recall, which I believe was my subconscious resisting forgiveness. However, as I declared my identity in Christ and sought guidance from the Holy Spirit, I was able to forgive and begin the healing process. It won't be immediate, but I've taken the first step by choosing to let go of that anger and see the situation with grace rather than resentment. For now, I'm focusing on not revisiting those painful memories until I can view them without anger or betrayal.
